The Genius and Juliet
by fiercejinx
Summary: A girl who's with Artemis will have no secrets left. A boy who's with Juliet will have to swallow a large part of his 'masculine' ego. Maybe that's why they are perfect for each other? Because they already know each other better than anyone else ever can.
1. To Cherish and Protect

_Summary: Girls are delicate and sensitive and need a nice, sweet man to take care of them. Boys are emotionally challenged, testosterone fueled jerks who are after nothing but sex. Blondes are dumb. Rich kids are stupid. These are the rules. They are the exceptions._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl and make no money out of the writing of this fic. Duh.**

**WARNINGS: **This fic will contain Artemis being his usual devious self and Juliet kickin' ass. May contain swearing.

**Chapter 1: To Cherish and Protect**

"You know, I _really_ wouldn't do that, if I were you," Artemis observed conversationally. This was addressed to the group of punks slowly circling and closing in on his girlfriend standing a few feet away from him.

The leader of the punks spared him one glance. 5 feet 11", lanky with pale white skin; Artemis Fowl was not a picture to strike fear into the hearts of men. The punk laughed.

"Or what? You gonna do somethin' about that?"

He came very close to the girl now. A couple of his pals were standing behind her, preventing her from backing away as she undoubtedly would have done otherwise. He gave her a lecherous once over. She was slim, with the toned build of an athlete. She was blond with decidedly foreign features, giving her an exotic look. Strangely enough, she didn't look terrified or sickened, but blinked glittering green eyelids at him.

Artemis smiled. "Oh no…not me." He leaned back onto the bench, arms crossed, as if disinterestedly watching a show.

The punks found this decidedly weird behavior. Most boyfriends made at least an _attempt _to look protective of their girlfriends. Was this guy some kind of sicko who would enjoy watching what was about to occur? He frowned at Artemis, then turned back to the girl.

"Hey bitch, looks like your boyfriend doesn't care what happens to you." He smirked.

The blonde looked unconcerned. "Yeah he's more concerned about _you_."

The punk looked puzzled. He placed one rough hand around her waist and pulled her close.

Artemis winced. "I told you not to do that." He looked at his girlfriend and shrugged. "Well, can't say I didn't warn him."

The now decidedly confused punk bared a fist at Artemis. "What, you think I should be scared of _you_, pretty boy?" he sneered.

Artemis looked decidedly amused now. "Not me. Her."

The punk blinked. He felt a vice-like grip on his wrist. He tried to twist it but he couldn't. The blonde chick? Impossible! Then he felt a _slight_ pressure on his wrist and the next thing he knew, he had his arm twisted around behind his back. He winced and tried to break free. Then Juliet pulled it upwars slightly more and it snapped clean at the elbow. The punk screamed.

Juliet threw him forward and as he spun around due to the momentum, Juliet's knee connected with his groin.

Before he knew what was happenng, he found himself on his back on the ground, right arm broken and _extreme_ pain in the family jewels. His friends didn't realize what happened until they heard their leader screaming at them to get her. They rushed at her, four at once.

Juliet caught one with a side kick, striaght to the solar plexus that sent him sprawling to the ground. He didn't get up. Another guy came at her from behind, only to get her elbow in his face. As he staggered back from the impact, Juliet dispatched him with a back kick to the chest. The remaining two were dispatched similarly. Juliet was careful not to hit any vital spots, but the leader would _not_ be walking anytime soon.

15 seconds later, the punks had joined their leader on the ground in various states of incapacitation. Juliet flicked some hair out of her face. "Boys." She shook her head.

Artemis chuckled. "Indeed." Juliet walked up to him and he stood up.

"Well, shall we go somewhere else?" she asked. "I don't really feel like dealing with the authorities right now."

Artemis gave offered her an arm and she took it. Together, they strolled out of the park, one ordinary couple among a hundred others.

* * *

Enjoy! And review please but no flaming or I will flame back. Constructive criticism welcome.


	2. The Romeos and Juliet

**Chapter 2 – The Romeos and Juliet**

Perhaps we should now take a look at how things came about the way they did.

Artemis Fowl and Juliet Butler found it surprisingly difficult to maintain a relationship, for the simple reason that they were both so extraordinary.

When Juliet had returned after winning fame and glory as the Jade Princess, she had expected life to be easy. Her training with Madame Ko was complete, she had lived her dream of being a wrestling champion, now it was her turn to live a normal life. The normal life for a girl of 21 generally involved a boyfriend and Juliet had felt she was ready to be in a relationship. Things, however, did not go as planned.

**Jason**

Jason was a more or less normal boy. This is where the trouble had started. Jason was a normal, 22 year old boy who was taken in by Juliet's beauty and charm. The word 'charm' here is a bit of a stretch because Juliet Butler was a lot of things but charming _was not one of them. For one, being 'charming' in the feminine sense required one to be feminine_, which again Juliet found it exceedingly difficult to be. To give her credit, she had tried.

"_Jason," Juliet murmured, trying to lightly push him away. "I…don't think we should…"_

_Jason, unfortunately, had grown up believing the traditionally false notion that when a woman says 'no' she means 'yes'. Also unfortunately for him, he believed that all women are turned on by displays of aggression and no matter how "strong" a woman, she always liked a man to dominate her. And so-_

_Jason spun them around and pushed her up against the wall, hands on each side of Juliet's head. He looked at her face trying to see and positive reactions while trying to be smooth and sexy at the same time. Jason was not good at either of those things._

_On her part, Juliet was trying her best to wriggle her way out of a very…sticky situation. Well, she had__** tried **__to get him to understand that she did not want to progress to physical intimacy yet but he didn't seem to get it. Juliet frowned and tried again._

"_Jason, I'm not comfortable with-"_

"_Shut up." Jason leaned in close and cut her off with hot lips on hers, hard and implacable. Juliet sighed. Placing one hand on his chest, she pushed a little bit harder._

_Jason flew halfway across the room. He blinked his eyes rapidly. Well…__**that**__ had certainly never happened before. Then the situation completely caught up with him and he felt the burning humiliation of being manhandled by a girl. Juliet looked down at him apologetically. _

"_I tried to tell you, Jason, that your…advances are not welcome."_

_Jason's face contorted in an angry mask. "You bitch…"_

_Juliet's face became absolutely blank as she turned around to leave. Jason did not notice the fists clenched at her side or he would not have been stupid enough to what he did next._

"_You think you can get away with doing what you just did, slut? I want you…and I will have you __**now**__…so stop playing your stupid games if you know what's good for you!"_

_He grabbed her wrist. Without turning around, Juliet said in a very even voice. _

"_It's rape if you force yourself on a woman without her consent."_

_Jason laughed harshly. "You bitches are all the same. You always say you don't want it while inside, you're just begging for me to take you…you're just like that bitch Stella…crying "Oh please stop, Jason!" But I know she loved it…"_

_That was when Jason lost any sympathy Juliet might have had for him. Placing her other hand on his wrist, Juliet flipped him over her shoulder. Jason landed hard on his back. Suffice to say, from then on, things did not go very well for Jason. _

_The next day, Jason's friends found him unconscious on his apartment floor, so heavily bruised, his face was barely recognizable. It took him three months to completely physically recover. Burning with humiliation and anger, Jason decided to make revenge plans. Apparently, his friends were not very eager to go up against the Jade Princess so Jason decided to hire goons to do the job. Oddly enough, he was unable to hire any of the regulars to do the job. Something about her being from the Butler family._

Alright so maybe Jason was not all that normal. This was rather an extreme example. There were others, not all of them so offensive as Jason. After Jason, there was Stan who was rather a sweetheart – shy and sensitive, the problem being the latter quality. Juliet was not known for her sensitive, soft heart and Stan had been rather… upset at the things she had seen and done as the Jade Princess. And that was just the mellow stuff. They had broken off after the first date.

Then there was Danny. Also a sweet enough boy, but a bit too full of himself. Juliet fondly remembered another arrogant boy she had had a crush on years ago. But Danny was nothing like Artemis because while Artemis _was _much _much_ better than everyone else in practically everything he did, Danny just _thought_ that he was. And that made all the difference in the world because at one point, Juliet was obliged to point out to him that she was, in fact, quite capable of taking care of herself, despite what he thought and to add insult to injury, she was also capable of taking care of _him _without breaking a sweat. Their relationship did not survive the blow to Danny's ego and after a mumbled apology about her not being his type, Danny was gone.

And so it was. After breaking up with Eric, Juliet was now in her room in the Fowl Manor, idly throwing knives at the target on the opposite wall. It was hardly possible that there was something wrong with the entire male population in Ireland and therefore, logically, it was more probable that there was something wrong with _her _since she couldn't make a single relationship last. What had she done wrong, she wondered. Was she too aggressive, too blunt, too…_not_ feminine? Perhaps she should work on being a bit more socially acceptable. Maybe it was the glittering green mascara. She had always dressed femininely, except for the heels and the sluttyness but maybe that was needed too?

While she sat there pondering everything that was wrong with her, there was a brief knock on the door. It opened before she had the chance to respond. It was Artemis.

"Juliet?" he enquired, "Are you alright?"


	3. Know You Well

"What is the matter?" Artemis asked as he entered, glancing at the target board riddled with knives. Dead centre.

Juliet sighed. "I just broke up with Matt."

"Ah," Artemis nodded. "The 'hunk'"

Juliet gave him a look. "You don't have to be so damn sarcastic, Artemis. He was a nice guy."

Artemis gave her a look that plainly said _if you say so._

"You seem…out of sorts. I suspect it has more to it than simply the breakup? Because as I recall, despite your protests to the contrary, Matt was not the most sensitive man in Ireland."

Juliet smiled ruefully. "Yeah and still _he's _the one who broke up with _me_."

Artemis nodded. "And so you are questioning your adequacy? Perhaps even your femininity?"

Juliet looked away resolutely and muttered. "Almost all my boyfriends broke up with me for more or less the same reason. I guess I'm not exactly the epitome of femininity myself huh?"

Artemis looked at her understandingly. "That is not true Juliet. I have known you personally for many years now and I must say, if there is any female I hold in high esteem along with Holly and Minerva, it's you."

Juliet looked up cautiously.

"And I do not say this simply to spare your feelings, I say it because it is true, Juliet. It is a gross misconception that femininity must include such deplorable traits as delicacy, submissiveness and helplessness. Anthropologically, there have been many renowned females in history who have broken out of their preconceived notions of femininity to take charge in dire situations."

As Artemis looked like he was about to lose his audience, he concluded hastily. "My, point, Juliet is that you are appropriately feminine. It is they who are lacking in, what you might say, 'manliness'?"

Juliet smiled. "Thank you, Artemis. That really does make me feel better."

Artemis inclined his head graciously.

"Although," Juliet continued. "It would be much more effective if I didn't know that you could have put together a convincing argument in the favor of virtually any female, including a pasty faced bimbo."

Artemis grinned. "True. But you know what I mean."

Juliet smiled. "Yeah I guess so."

Artemis placed his hand reassuringly on top of hers and looked deep into her eyes. "Juliet. You are worth more than those underdeveloped homo sapiens. Do not sell yourself short. You are worth more."

"Really?" Juliet demanded. "You're not just saying that?"

Artemis's gaze was piercing. "Would I lie to you?"

Juliet held his gaze for a long moment.

"Yes you would."

Artemis drew back, exasperated.

"But," continued Juliet smiling, "I know what you're trying to say. Thank you."

Artemis smiled wryly. "You're welcome. It is rather infuriating conversing with someone who knows you too well."

Juliet smirked. "Well, I don't think I have much competition."

Artemis smiled. "You know, if you wish to…even the score with any of your exs, you have only to say the word."

Juliet gave him a flat look. "If I wanted revenge, Artemis, I would not need…backup. I can break a concrete block with my forehead," she reminded him.

Artemis grinned. "Of course. But you know…just so you know…"

Juliet grinned back and winked. "Right back at ya, Master Fowl."


	4. Girlfriend Troubles

**Chapter 4: Girlfriend Trouble**

And Juliet did know. Artemis had had his share of trouble with girls. He just could not seem to hold on to one. Although, truth be told, it couldn't be helped as long as Artemis was _himself_.

For example, there was Lisa:

Artemis had been at his computer doing, according to Lisa, god knows what. Lisa had taken a deep breath, and prepared herself.

"Artemis, I have something important to tell you."

Artemis had not looked up from his work. "In a minute, Lisa. I have told you not to interrupt me during work."

Lisa fumed. "And I wouldn't have, but this is really _important_."

Artemis had not looked up, going under the assumption that if Lisa had the time and inclination to go through these theatrics, it couldn't be that important.

"I'm listening."

Lisa looked down, fidgeting with a corner of her expensive shawl.

"I…I cheated on you," she announced in a whisper, then closed her eyes and waited for the explosion. After a minute, when nothing happened, she opened them again.

"Artemis…?" she asked hesitantly.

Artemis glanced at her, not stopping his typing. "Why?"

Lisa was taken aback and not a little peeved. "WHAT? That's all you have to day to me? I cheated on you, Artemis! Don't you care at all?"

Artemis finally turned around to look at her. "What would you have me say?"

Lisa drew back at that. How does one answer a question like that?_ Artemis, I expect you to yell and shout at me and then break down and go after the guy swearing bloody murder. _That didn't sound right.

"I don't know! I guess it's too much to expect any reaction at all from you?"

Artemis looked at her calmly. "I asked you why."

Lisa was pissed. "Because he's more of a man than you are! I'm sure he would at least fight for his girl."

Artemis was looking highly amused. "More of a man? _My_ girl? You are, of course aware that you are not a _cave_ woman?"

Lisa stamped her foot in frustration. "Argh! It's useless even talking to you! Here I came to be honest and to apologize and this is how you-"

She broke off in astonishment as Artemis started laughing.

"My dear Lisa, you didn't tell me that to be honest, you came to brag."

Lisa was shocked and not a little uncomfortable due to how close that was to the truth. Well, she wouldn't say _brag_ exactly; she just…wanted him to get over himself. But damned if she admitted it to Artemis! Her lip trembled and her eyes began to get watery.

"No! I- I care about you and I made a mistake. I hope you can forgive me?"

This was her trump card. If Artemis forgave her, she could tell all her friends that Artemis Fowl loved her so much that he was willing to be with her even after she cheated on him. If he didn't, she could tell her friends that Artemis was so hurt and heartbroken that he could not bear the heartbreak.

"Forgive you? What for?"

Lisa blinked, forgetting her act for a minute. "For…cheating on you? Breaking your trust? I swear it will never happen again!"

Artemis was still smiling indulgently. "Of course it will, Lisa," he told her lightly.

Lisa stared. "What?"

Artemis rolled his eyes. "It is obvious you are not happy with me. We are not well matched. I think it would be better for both of us to find more suitable partners. Perhaps there is your caveman who holds your fancy?" He quirked and amused eyebrow.

Lisa was panicking. This is not how it was supposed to go at all! She had not planned to be _dumped_, and so unceremoniously at that!

"Uh…my caveman…I-I mean Robert was a mistake. I love _you_, Artemis! Forgive me!"

She tried to fall into his arms, except he held her at arm's length. "Lisa, there is nothing to forgive. We have not known each other for very long. It is of no consequence. Now please leave."

Lisa began bawling. "Noooooooooo! I-I can't – you don't understand."

"Lisa, it will be quite embarrassing for you if I have to call security."

Lisa quickly collected herself at that, choosing to beat a hasty retreat. She hurried out the door and then turned, looking at him over her shoulder.

"Good bye, Artemis. I will always love you."

Artemis smiled. "Goodbye! Give my best to the caveman."

* * *

So you get the idea. There were others, of course.

Amelia-

"Artemis, do I look fat in this dress?"

Artemis gave her a once over.

"Yes."

Amelia had burst into tears and stormed out, leaving Artemis perplexed.

What? He had thought she looked like a cow. He hadn't said _that,_ had he?

* * *

Sharon-

"Artemis, do you love me?"

Artemis looked deep into her eyes.

"No."

She had pulled away from him and tried valiantly to control tears.

Artemis felt it was her own fault. Why would she ask the question if she was not prepared for the answer? They had known each other only a month. Love was not a rash that developed overnight.

* * *

Gina-

One finger trailing down his chest. "Artemis would you ever hide anything from me?"

"Yes."

"Oh, _Artemis_! How _could _you?"

Artemis rolled his eyes.

* * *

And needless to say, Juliet was _different_…


End file.
